1337 Haxx0rz

January 18th, 2009

So I discovered tonight that my host, Servage was hacked, with nasty code of some sort added to each index.php page I have. My first indication came yesterday, when I was in my NEIS interview. My interviewer loaded my portfolio and tried to access Parallelax, my webcomic. It failed to load. So this evening I went to investigate. Turns out that the code the hack inserted declared some function twice, which crashed the PHP. I am glad of that, since it allowed me to find this out.

I’m really, really pissed off at this. I trusted Servage for security, but it can be so easily hacked on such a wide scale?? I feel that I should take my business elsewhere…

Shark Attack

January 12th, 2009

Shark Attacks Snorkeller at Windang

Close to home much? I live one suburb away.

shark attack

There goes any desire I had to go to the beach this summer…

Web Design Business

January 9th, 2009

Today, I signed up for NEIS, as well as its prerequisite, Newstart Allowance; the same dole I was on when I first returned from my travels. But it was a means to an end. The New Enterprise Incentive Scheme is funding for a year as well as a six week course in business planning.

So, this is the biggest step I’ve taken this far into making my Web Design Business. It’s terrifying, to tell the truth. But, I’m okay for now.

I’ve been kind of pushed along by my Dad, which I have mixed feelings about. Time will tell if I am ready or not to go through with this. For now, I still feel like a directionless child. I’m thinking it’s psychological, because I know intellectually that I am pretty mature and capable. I guess it’s just my past motivational issues coupled with my huge problem with people. I’m just crap at talking to people… for the reasons detailed on yesterday’s post about teasing. Yes, primary school people that teased me, it’s largely your fault I am this way. I trace most of my problems back to school years 3-6. The kids at Laguna Street absolutely vilified me. I was one of the major targets, besides Chris and Cameron. I never knew what I could have possibly done to invite such relenteless teasing. But I digress.

So, I’ll obviously continue to update you on developments. The next stage for NEIS is an interview, and I’m supposed to hear from them in the next few days. If I don’t get through, I may actually be a little relieved. But, it’s not like I want to stay working ten hours a week at Woolworths.

Also, last night I came up with the name “Site Flight Web Design”. I wanted to tie it in with an owl motif, since I collect owls and all. So “Site Flight” is the best I’ve come up with so far.

I’m not going to ask for suggestions (if I can’t even think of a name I’m pretty useless), but I would like to know what you think of it.

Back to Work

January 8th, 2009

Ah yes, it felt like I’d never left. Unfortunately.

That’s right, today I went back to work for the first time since I broke my foot, back on the last Friday of November. I was given the all clear for my foot on the fifth. It, however, has s ome discomfort now that I have been on it for work. It’s a slight worry, but the doc said it would heal itself. It’s been near on six weeks now, which is how long it was supposed to take, but clearly it hasn’t healed entirely yet. It’s not really posing a problem, though.

I guess this kind of hails the end of my good times. Well, I don’t want to think of it that way. I should think of it more as “back to the routine”. The past week or two has been pretty lazy for me. I have spent a lot of time playing Sonic games. An unhealthy amount of time, even. I have also been spending a lot of time browsing the forums of Sonic Retro, as I came across their Sonic 2 HD project, which looks utterly tasty. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is the first game I ever loved. It started while watching my eldest sister Kelly’s boyfriend (and now husband) Glen playing it on his Sega Mega Drive. The Sonic 2 HD project will be the same wonderful game, just with updated, beautiful graphics which are based faithfully on the original sprites, just High Definition. Example:

Sonic and Tails

Forgive my geekitude, but I just CAN’T WAIT for them to make this game. Despite my current projects, I’m toying with the idea of contributing, if I can get their “uber” art style down.

Anyway, that’s it from the world of Natalie today.

Playful Teasing = Social Skills?

January 8th, 2009

Reported in yesterday’s Daily Telegraph: New research has found playful teasing develops social skills.

Just what the kids needed, a new reason to be a bully. Just where is the line between “playful teasing” and bullying anyway?

I am pretty much the opposite of what this article describes.

New research has found playful teasing, and being called names such as “ranga”, could be good for young people because it helps them bond and develop social skills.

Not in my case. From my experiences, I may never be able to “bond” with anybody beyond distant friendship.

It may even make “victims” more likely to take on leadership roles in the long term.

Again, not in my case. I have terrible anxiety now. Leadership? Never. I will do what others ask of me grudgingly, but I can never tell others what to do. It is part of my problems that I can never let anybody see me as authoritative for fear that it will translate as seeming mean or unlikeable.

“They learn how to respond to playful criticism … that can be useful in later life,” she said, adding that teased kids could end up in leadership roles – and became strong enough to come back with witty comments.

My response to any kind of criticism? Offense. Embarrassment. Shame. Blow to my self esteem. Takes me right back to my days in the playground. Intellectually, I can tell what kind of criticism it is and how I should respond, but I just don’t.

This is terrible advice. This article is dangerous. Really, really dangerous. Take it from me, I am utterly effed up.

A Scare… and Linux!

January 4th, 2009

Me and my computer have had our ups and downs. It started when I bought it. My first mistake was buying a Dell. Now, I have come to love this Inspiron 1501 notebook, but it is a conditional love. It seems like Dell make their AC Adapters intentionally bad quality. I’ve already been through two official ones, two eBay ones, and finally I have one I bought from a website which seems the best quality of the lot, and it’s not even Dell branded (though it somehow miraculously works with this computer – more than I can say for the second adapter I got after about 8 months of use). Anyway, when I first bought it, it came with Windows Vista Home Edition. Worst operating system I’ve used since Windows 3.0. Blech. So I “downgraded” to Windows XP after a week. After that there were some debacles with the AC Adapters, and basically the hinge of the computer is stuffed. It’s coming apart at the side, though I admit I didn’t use it carefully.

I was playing Sonic 3 & Knuckles on it earlier, and I paused it to go with my sister to buy a new computer (more on that shortly). When I returned, it was off. I picked it up and tried turning it back on. The light popped on and I heard the fan start, then it switched off immediately after that. It felt hot. Really, really hot. I don’t know what the Genesis emulator did to it, but it was really overheated. I was worried, and let it sit for a while. Fortunately, once cool, it worked again. Better that it powered off instead of melting something, I suppose. But, it scared me quite a bit. I don’t want to lose this computer in the way I lost my IBM a couple of years ago. That one developed a design flaw that caused the monitor to go blank, and when my uncle was tinkering with it, it died completely. I was just lucky that I had backed up the hard drive when the bug first started to make the screen intermittently go blank.

So, anyway, I went with Allyson today to Harvey Norman, and she bought an Asus Eee PC for her next trip – she is going to America to be maid of honour in her friend’s wedding in San Diego.

It is a 7.8 inch (I think) netbook that runs some version of Linux. It’s really user friendly (well, once we got over problems with the wi-fi), and came with OpenOffice.org, Skype and Firefox already installed. I think it is excellent! But I can’t believe my sister got Linux before me!

Oh well. Anyway, it’s been an interesting day. Now I need to spend my evening working on my comic, which I haven’t been doing, instead procrastinating with Sega games (I got Hyper Sonic in S3&K, that’s got to count for something!). My nephew Jake is eager to read it once I’m done, so I have to make it, if only for him.

Unswayed Hips

January 2nd, 2009

Source: Shortpacked!

My hips won't unsway.

Drawing the Line First Draft: Complete!

December 31st, 2008
NaNoFiMo 2008 WinnerWinner’s badge I created.

I got stuck into it nice and early today, and I’m proud to say that the first draft of my first ever novel, is now complete! Exactly in the timeframe I was shooting for, too.

The grand total word count is 121,601, at least according to yWriter. This is an incredible milestone. Not long ago, I wouldn’t have dreamed I could actually pull something like this off. I thought I was far too lazy to keep chipping away at something so enormous. And yet, I did 121k in just two months.

Now, by all accounts, the best thing to do is let a fresh batch of novel cool for at least a month before starting on the editing. It makes sense, because I view my current novel as a piece of crap not worth touching right now anyway. In a month or so, I will be able to view it objectively and edit it as such. I’ve never edited a story before (presumably why I was always marked badly in creative writing at school), so I’ll be borrowing a book about it from the library. I have the gist of what I should be doing, but mainly plotwise. The quality of writing, I will likely need help with to some extent. Probably one of my biggest pitfalls is that I don’t read much fiction. It’s pretty good for originality (no plagiarism from me), but very bad for sentence construction, ideas for similes and metaphors, dialogue, that kind of thing. I think I did a decent job for someone who read The Mists of Avalon by Marion Bradley a few years ago, then didn’t pick up a single piece of fiction until midway through November this year (I read Playing For Keeps by Mur Lafferty, by the way).

But anyway, it’ll still be quite some time before this novel is ready for the public eye. But I will keep you updated.

Christmas 2008 at Kelly's Place

December 30th, 2008

Ooh, Drama!

December 29th, 2008

In my years online,  I’ve been in many arguments about various things. Over time I learned that it wasn’t worth getting worked up over. Instead, it’s more fun to point and laugh.

A few hours ago, I received an email from Livejournal, where I have an account that I use to post comments and message some friends that I don’t know anywhere else.

A couple of weeks ago, I added a comment to this Livejournal post, after searching for assistance on comic drawing (ultimately I came up with the advice “try harder” and “don’t be lazy”).

Bimbo 1It’s nippletastic.

So this post shows some very chauvenistic pages from a book on how to draw Superheroes. When they talked about women, it was almost exclusively through a “sex appeal” lens. Nevermind that a stick thin woman wouldn’t make any kind of super anything, especially when you compare it to the men on the pages. On that last link, anyone else find the “keep it real” box ironic?

So, the comments were full of people complaining about how man-centric superhero comics are, and how women need to be taken more seriously and drawn realistically. You know, with muscles sometimes, and not always beautiful… maybe even with a hint of *gasp!* body fat! One woman even took it upon herself to redo the comic pages with the sexes reversed. A masterful rendering (and it took me about 20 minutes to find it too).

So, anyway. I added a comment to the end of this thread.

I came here on a search for help on drawing comics myself, like many of these people that have recently commented irrelevant things. I thought these scans were going to be helpful… then I started reading them. I found myself verbally expressing my distaste for BOTH the men and women, but particularly the women, in the pictures. This is why I don’t read comic books. I love many webcomics though, because most of the ones I read tend to draw real people.
Fortunately, as I started reading the comments, I realised that these scans were posted BECAUSE they were dehumanising to women. And that made me happy. Females that like comics need to take a stand on this. Men that just draw their masturbation fantasy woman and call it realistic need to take a good look at themselves.
This has galvanised my desire to make a comic that’s actually directed more at girls than boys. Do you think there is much of a market for teenage girls to read fantasy comics?

It was the 16th of December. I forgot about it until today, when I received this charming email:

Nattington, I have to say your post is probably one of the most self-centered pieces of garbage on this entire thread. The scans above were intended to help those who enjoy drawing superheroes or comics related as such. Your entire post simply states that you don’t have an imagination, and don’t have a single bit of interest in enjoying misconstrued reality, which is pretty much all that superheroes are about.
“Dehumanising to women”????? So all of the make-believe women in the world should retaliate against these fantasy (fantasy means ‘not real’ by the way) stereotypes shown above?
The drawings shown above are all related to the traditional sense that has been superheroes or superhero comics for a long time now. It’s an art form that has been passed down and enjoyed for quite some time as well. If you don’t like it, well then I truly do hope you make your own comic that satisfies your distaste in the current comic trend.
“Men that just draw their masturbation fantasy woman and call it realistic…”? No, it’s simply ‘realistic’ in the traditional idea of drawing people that have the same muscle groups…etc that real people have, only lifted out of proportion to make them ‘super heroes’.

Nipplerella
Figure C: Superheroine “Nipplerella”

That’s all this is: fake. Make-believe. Fantasy. If this situation was a little different, you might be perfectly reasonable in whining about how unreal and ‘dehumanising’ the scans are. But because these were intended to be superheroes who ARE NOT supposed to be realistic in our proportions, I don’t see why the hell you bothered posting that in the first place…

This was posted as a comment in the thread, but has been screened. Here is the link, if it happens to go public.

Bimbo 2
What is this one meant to be doing, exactly?

So… somebody thinks I’m full of crap for thinking women should be respresented as real people? I think this guy also did not recognise that I would also love to see more normal looking men in comics also, instead of big beefy, godawful monstrosities that are depicted on these pages. There’s a difference between a bodybuilder and an athlete. Body builders are strong, sure, but they do not make good superheroes, because big muscles are cumbersome, and the body cannot be flexible.

It isn’t my fault that comic artists don’t think that people like reading about superheroes that look like real people. Maybe male comic geeks like to imagine themselves as these enormous super-strong towers that kick butt and make love to sultry, throwaway women. But I am not a male comic geek.

If there is something the internet has taught me, it’s that girls can be geeks just as easily as boys. The only difference is that there isn’t enough geekdom catering the female demographic. So, a lot of girls have turned to manga and anime, because they have people with normal looking bodies. Some have special powers, without having to look stupid.

Why do few girls read superhero comics? Because they are made by males, for males. They will never garner many female readers until they begin to cater for them.

I like comics. Comics made by normal people, about normal people. Until these normal people extend to superheroes (which I like the idea of, sure), I’m going to continue to criticise the generations of comic artists that read these books and think that women need to be boobular and dripping with sexuality, with three inch waists, nonexistent muscles and lips that could be used as a floatation device.

My apologies, whoever you are that wrote that comment. I’m very sorry I struck a nerve and that you think that your comment was the voice of reason in this matter. It may be fantasy, but it’s still disgusting to look at. If you were a female, you’d probably understand. Unless you bought into the whole women-as-sex-objects-are-now-women-with-”sexual-freedom” thing that’s going on in rap music video clips nowadays. In which case, I would pity you.

Natalie out.

p.s. This post marks the birth of a new Category: Mightier than the Sword. This will chronicle any future jerks that cross my path.